A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked
up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.
"What was that for?" he asked.
"That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura
Lou written on it," she replied.
"Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one
of the horses I bet on," he explained.
"Oh, honey, I'm sorry," she said. "I should have known there
was a good explanation."
Three days later he was watching a ballgame on TV when she walked up and hit
him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out
cold.
When he came to, he asked,"What the heck was that for?"
She replied, "Your horse called."
Christmas Cards for the Psychologically Challenged (some of these are baaaad)
Schizophrenia----
Do You Hear What I Hear?
Multiple Personality Disorder---
We Three Queens Disoriented Are
Amnesia---
I Don't Know if I'll Be Home For Christmas
Narcissistic---
Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
Manic---
Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office
and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...
Paranoid---
Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me
Borderline Personality Disorder---
Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
Personality Disorder---
You Better Watch Out, I'm Going to Cry, I'm Going to Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You
Why
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder---
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Agoraphobia---
I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House
Autistic---
Jingle Bell Rock and Rock and Rock and Rock
Senile Dementia---
Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe
Oppositional Defiant Disorder---
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House
Social Anxiety Disorder---
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate
Name That Tune!
Can you identify the Christmas songs? The letters represent the first letter
of the opening line of the song.
| JBJBJATW IHTBOCD OHNTSABS ICUTMCTGSOO IDOAWC DTHWBOH OCTOCTHLAYB TFNTADS JTTWTLIC OLTOBHSWSTL HTHASGTTNK UOTHRP JOSNLYETW JBJBJBR RTRNRDHAVSN GKWLOOTFOS OTFDOCMTLGTM ISTSCSIOCDOCD ISMKSC AIAMNCFAB YBWOYBNCYBNPITYW CROAOF WWYAMC FTSWAJHS SNHNAICAIB OCAYFJAT |
HYAMLC IBHFC AIWFCIMTFT SBSBICTITC GRYMGLNYD SBRAYL HAHJC IBTLALLC WTKOOA IHABCWY HCSCHCSRDSCL RATCTATCPH TTNBCAATTH WCITWLTR GGROBAR OTNPLHFTH HWGAC HHHHWTMBKR WAYDNYNYE WSWTFBN AWHHOHSSOT IGNFCMADAM CCTM JHTSBRAL ITMWT HCSSDIHSWG (Bonus!) |
